August 27 marks the day where I was witness to the birth of a child that would change my life forever. Children have a way of doing that, would you agree? Because of Tessa’s extraordinary circumstances, I was witness to the work of God in and through her as she lived out her short little life here on earth.
When my journey started with Tessa, my faith in Christ looked a lot different than it does today. She was a catalyst of my faith as my relationship with God is at a whole new level these days. Let me explain.
Because of Tessa, my heart and mind were awakened to the greatness of God and I became witness to the many miracles displayed in and through my daughter (many of which can be read in previous posts). Slowly, I stopped questioning God and started asking questions. I started to read the Word- and as I read it, I started to believe it. The answers to my questions were right there in the Bible. God used every Word and every moment to change my heart and as my heart changed, so did my eyes- and I began to see Him everywhere!
I entrusted the Lord with my daughter’s life…and now with mine. Once I started to give God the glory for every breath, I stopped worrying about mortality...and breathing. I was able to rest in the very fact that, as a believer in Christ, we always win- if we die here, we awaken in the presence of God; if we live here, we get to continue glorifying the Father as witnesses.
This year has been a hard one to navigate. So many things happening in life that are simply out of control, things that impact daily living in a way that are adverse to the ways I was accustomed to. It has taken much time to adjust, to discover new routines, to give grace to the moment of “now” and to live in a manner that pleases God (something I strive for, but still fail regularly!). Similar to finding out that Tessa had a terminal condition 24 hours after her birth, 2020 has hit me (and maybe you?) with an awkward blow that has changed my (and your?) life forever.
So allow me to share this thought.
Its hard to swallow a pill that is shoved down your throat…but with enough water, it all goes down. That is how I was able to get through every tough and trying time during Tessa’s life here- navigating doctor visits, bouts of pneumonia and surgeries- I doused it in all in water...Holy water. I immersed myself in the Word of God and found myself walking through some of the most difficult days of my life unscathed. Peace surrounded the hard moments, including holding my daughter as she took her first breath with Jesus.
Friend, if you are still reading, I would encourage you to immerse yourself in the Word. If you have questions, search for those answers in the Word of God. I promise that once you start to cultivate a heart of sincere gratitude and you give God the glory for every breath, you will stop worrying about mortality. You will find yourself with the ability to rest in the very fact that, as a believer in Christ, we always win- if we die here, we awaken in the presence of God; if we live here, we get to continue glorifying the Father as witnesses of His goodness.
I wish that I had the ability to tell you everything I know about the God I know and love so deeply. It is my sincere hope that if you are curious about how God has shown himself to me, I pray that you find a few moments to peruse some of the older blog posts. God is so good. He is so incredibly real, and my friend, He is coming soon. I am only a phone call away and am happy to talk anytime, but Jesus is already by your side. Talk to Him.
If you find hope in this post, or know someone that would benefit from hearing My Witness, please share. Not only will it honor Tessa, but it may just be what someone needs to find salvation, hope and rest.
Happy Birthday, baby girl. We will always choose cupcakes & Jesus.